Goosfraba.. (calm down)
I’ve just finished watching Anger Management (2003). Yup it’s not a new film but I like it very much especially when it teaches you to let go of your anger for good.
Recently it came up into my mind that I have a problem with anger management. I started to (slightly) realize about that long ago, but tended to ignore it because I thought it wouldn’t be able to harm me or anybody else. But I was wrong. That thing (anger) actually has been eating me from the inside, silently, which makes me feel pissed off so easily these days.
Like Dr Buddy (Jack Nicholson) said in that movie,
“There are two kinds of angry people, explosive and implosive. Explosive is the kind of individual that you see screaming at the cashier for not taking their coupons.
Implosive is the cashier who remains quiet, day after day and finally shoots everyone in the store.
You’re the cashier”
then Buznik (Adam Sandler) replied, “No no no, I’m the guy hiding in the frozen food section dialing 911, I swear.”
yeah I LOLed.
But in that case, I think I am the cashier.
Actually I’ve been trying to change since a few weeks ago. Yeah, long before I watched the movie. Now every time I feel pissed off, I will try to let it go off of my brain by voicing out properly what does not satisfy me. Or at least, I’ll tell myself not to keep it in heart and just forget about it.
But you know what, since I started to change, it seems like people around me started pissing me off more often than before, experimenting my anger. Funny isn’t it? And worse, I’m still being patient with all the craps!
I really wish I can go through anger management courses for the implosive angry people that can teach me how to let go of my tiny angers. Tiny angers are like viruses. they spread and infect others (other people and other situations and so on) without you realizing it. Thinking about that, i think it’s scary.
I really don’t want to burst a massive explosion on anybody. so please people, don’t let me.
By the way, right now I’m putting myself in my own anger management courses, by reading positive articles and books that I think might help. I also tried some other therapeutic ways to let go of my tiny angers positively. Actually I’m an angry person who mainly angry with myself. I hope God will help me graduate from this ‘course’ successfully someday.
uyeah. Amin.
ps: God listens to prayers. now every time i get pissed off, He sends me a kind of.. maybe i can call it a “help” that turns a bad situation into an entertaining one. (Like last night when i was angry with something, suddenly a panic bird flew into my room, and led me to a laugh while trying to help it find the way to the window. That laugh really made me feel relief, and suddenly I could also laugh off at my anger as well). Well, that might not look like releasing angers though, but at least it helps me throw away grudges before it stuck in my heart.
pss: and lastly, maybe I should always remind myself with this hadith: Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said, “Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created of fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution.” [Abu Daud; Book 41, No. 4766]
Evil devil. grr. Sorry to those who used to be a victim of my uncontrollable angriness explosion. I’m sorry.
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